Signature Move
by CretianStar
Summary: Total naughty implied crackshot on the sexual lives of the Avengers. It's one big AU happy family with a wonderful dose of Stucky.


A/N: I was going to upload this to the Helicarrier Anthology but I thought screw it, I want the naughtiness to take pride of place!

This is a total crackshot and I had so much fun writing it.

* * *

"Well we know Barton never misses." Tony swirled the amber liquid in his glass before settling one ankle across his knee and grinning at Tasha.

"We also know you like to tinker with toys." The redhead's smile was salacious, but to give him his credit Tony didn't baulk or blush. Instead he looked coolly at her and cocked an eyebrow. "I still know what my partner likes."

"We know Hill is into giving orders." Hawkeye swigs from his beer, the three of them discussing the more intimate parts of living together. They had already joked about noise complaints, but now they were discussing the finer points on their colleague's love lives.

"Do you think Bruce likes to Smash?" Tony smirked as Natasha paled.

"Well we have to ask Helen to find that one out?" Clint snorted. "Though, that's really not an image I wanted of Bruce…" He groans as his imagination readily provides details.

"There are already numerous jokes about Thor's hammer, but I think he's more on the thunder side when he's in bed." Natasha says lightly and her companions pause for a moment.

"As long as he's not lightning quick I'm sure Jane is just fine." Clint sniggers and ponders for a moment. "Do you think TicTac Scott is…."

"Compensating?" Tony pipes up and Clint nods. "By making himself small…"

"Isn't it usually if a guy is super extravagant, he's insecure." Tasha says pointedly and the pair of assassins flick their eyes to Tony who splutters.

"I resent that! There is no compensation at my end." He huffed and the pair laugh while he sulks. "Fine, what about Steve?" Tony grumbles as the other two continue to laugh at him.

"Ohh do you not know Steve's signature move?" Natasha grins and Tony sits up, eager for gossip.

"It's called Stars and Stripes." Tasha smirks. "Whoever he sleeps with sees stars and then leaves with stripes across their back." She sniggers again.

"What are you lot on about?" Bucky has padded his way into the room as Tony is spluttering his whiskey across the table.

"We are discussing the _Signature Moves_ of the Avengers, for example, as I have found out from Wanda, that Vision usually shouts in binary," Clint quirks one eyebrow and there's a coughing noise from Tony who had just inhaled his whiskey.

"Oh, that's never something I needed to know." Bucky flops on the sofa next to Tasha. "What's Tasha's?" He turns to stare at the fellow Russian who grins.

"She has a whole arsenal of moves." Tony butts in.

"But her favourite is the Matryoshka." Clint raises his beer to his lips with another smile and Nat shakes her head at her best friend.

"The Russian doll?" Bucky quizzes as Clint nods. "Huh…interesting. So who was the Stars and Stripes?"

"That would be our own Captain America, who, as Tasha so eloquently put it… makes his lovers see stars and leave with stripes… now do you have one?" Tony interrupts again and Bucky shrugs.

"Doubtful, I've been on ice for far too long." He admits without embarrassment.

"That's okay, Tasha is great at setting people up, you'll discover it soon enough, maybe you're James Buckaroo Barnes." Clint runs a hand over the side of his face, pondering the assassin before him and Bucky reddens a little.

"What's going on?" Cap has strolled into the common room now, chuckling at the colour of his best friend's cheeks. "Who embarrassed you this time, was it Nat? It's usually Nat?"

"Actually, it was Barton." Nat mock protested.

"Unusual, what did he do?"

"Bucky has a new nickname, and it's James Buckaroo Barnes… Nat's gonna hook him up on a few dates and see if he lives up to it." Tony smirks and Steve shakes his head.

"If that's his nickname, I don't want to know the others. Come on Buck, training time."

The trio watched the pair leave and only Clint noticed the look in Tasha's eye, but said nothing until Tony meandered down to his lab to tinker with something or other.

"Explain…." Clint rests his legs over hers, wincing when she pulls his leg hairs.

"Oh, can't you tell… Bucky already knows Cap's signature move… he's definitely seen stars thanks to our Captain Rogers."

"Which means he's probably also got the stripes… shall we check tomorrow morning?" Clint grins wickedly, his expression matched by Tasha.

~Avengers~

"So what was that all about?" Steve pants as his hands fist into Bucky's hair.

"They were discussing the sexual… _oh fuck…_ techniques… of the Avengers." Bucky grunts as the pair move roughly from the wall to the nearest horizontal object, in this case the sofa. Looking up at Steve straddling his thighs was a sight that Bucky always appreciated.

"Oh, and yours is to be a Buckaroo, that's so true!" Steve chuckles and moans as true to his new moniker, Bucky shifts his hips upwards and manages to flip the pair of them.

"Yours is Stars and Stripes, because you've made me see stars and I've still got the stripes from last time." Bucky growls, kissing under Steve's ear as their fingers start to fumble for clothes.

"Fuck." Steve hisses and neither man cares about their teammates at that vital moment in time.

~Avengers~

"You owe me money Natashaaaa." Clint sings as he pours his grumpy redhead a coffee.

"It's too early for this shit, why now."

"Because Bucky's backside is a mess." Clint stirs in creamer slowly, aggravating Nat more.

"How have you seen his backside before 7.30am?" She growls and snatches the mug from his grasp.

"It's a peril of living on the same floor as Steve." Clint says drily.

"He did the Stride of Pride?" Nat feels more human as she inhales the aroma of coffee.

"He did indeed, and well Bucky's towel slid a little lower than he probably wanted." Hawkeye never missed a trick and the two spies fell silent as both Bucky and Steve came into the kitchen. When the two men paused on the threshold, they received matching smiles and a 'Morning' in unison.

"Sleep well?" Nat fluttered her lashes and Steve gave her a droll look. "Drumming up on your dedication to the flag?" She chuckled and Bucky snorted a laugh.

"Told you they knew." He murmured to Steve. "Very little gets past Tasha, I trained her too well." He grinned at her outraged look but said nothing more.


End file.
